I am ashamed.

It had been 3 days and 10 hours since I was first celibate. It has been a little over 2 hours since I have not been celibate, and I am ashamed of myself.

In my defense, I said, "No," five million times before I gave in. I just felt so bad for him and could see his point. I gave in. It felt good while we were going at it, but afterwards, I felt so ashamed of myself.

Am I that easy to give in? Just make me pity you to get what you want?

I'm so weak.

And afterwards, I realized that he doesn't respect my boundaries. I don't think that I can comfortably date a guy who will pressure me into having sex. So I have a fake boyfriend.

Fake Boyfriend otherwise known as Facebook Boyfriend.

Realizing that Boy has no conscience, a sucky girlfriend history, and a negative approval from Poly, I knew I had to find a way to stop this thing with him. He won't take no for an answer. So I told one of my guy friends to find me a fake boyfriend. He volunteers himself with the claim that he'll enjoy the reactions of his friends.

Let's hope all goes as planned THIS time.

I'm seriously incredibly disappointed in myself, guys. I'm trying not to beat myself up, but it's really hard not to. Nothing that I planned even happened except getting cheesecake.

FML,

Mina<3