He Makes Me Happy

Kenny makes me happy.

I've had other boyfriends and other flings and such. They've all made me happy while I was with them--mostly, anyway.

Peter was alright for the one week that we dated. I only liked the idea of him, not him.

I dated Patrick like...four times. The first time shouldn't count since it was only like, a day. The second time, I was on cloud nine. I was super happy and such. The third and fourth times were alright, nothing to really brag about.

David was a great boyfriend. He really was. But I was still stuck on Patrick when I dated him. I could've been happier, but it wasn't meant to be.

Trying to start a summer fling with Boy #1 failed. We hooked up once and didn't do much after. We just kinda...stopped...texting...

Boy #2 kept it casual, thank gods. But his personality started to bother me, and I cut things off. Lately he drops little sexual comments every once in a while, and it gets on my nerves sooo bad.

Boy #3 fell under the Peter case. I just liked the idea of him. His personality kinda sucked ass. And he just wanted some, not a relationship. After things with him stopped, I realized how unattracted I was to him.

Boy #4 was a complete asshole. He told me how he would never cheat on anyone, yet he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. And I never knew.

Then came Kenny. Honestly, I was on the verge of deciding to get over him and let him be, but Dinh saved me. I am so so so happy! Happier than when I dated Patrick. And I was pretty happy back then. I'm as happy as that but 3x more. Every bad thing seems less shitty because I have Kenny.

I hate how I can't see him all the time and just be with him. Just being with him makes me happy. I don't understand why everyone is so against it! I won't turn into one of those girls whose entire life revolves around her boyfriend, but I do love being with him.

He's just...so amazing. It's hard to explain! I just wish that I could be with him more often. I hope I can go to UTK so I can spend as much time as I want with him.

He's my Blanco, and I'm his Chava.

Bad Guys No More

Things finally ended with Boy. We finally stopped *talking*. I told one of my far away confidents all about it. Then one random Sunday morning, I find out that he told Girl everything that Boy and I did. After a bunch of texting and such, I told Boy that he tells her the truth or I will.

Long story short, I found out that he and his ex, Girl, got back together at the beginning of October when Boy and I just started hooking up. From a reliable source, I found out that he hooked up with other girls as well. I have refused to talk to him, and he hasn't approached me. I have been deleted from his Facebook friends. I've gotten over him pretty quickly.

On another note, I'm not single anymore! :] His name is Kenny, and I have his orange hoodie.

Speaking of orange hoodies, I got accepted into UTK!!! My acceptance letter came in the mail yesterday. I am sososo happy! I've been wanting to go there for the past maybe two years. Hopefully I can come up with the moolah to live my college dream life at the University of Tennessee Knoxville.

That's all for now. Thanks for reading!

Mina <3

Negatives of PMS

There is so much bad shit that comes with being on your period. You get cramps, look bloated, have to spend moolah on pads and/or tampons, and you can't masturbate and/ore have sex. One of the shittiest things, for me, anyway, is that you can't sleep naked.

Well, I mean, you could go nude with a tampon stuck up your vagina or don't wear anything at all. Yeah, there'd be a huge, bloody mess that looks like someone murdered you through your vagina, but at least you're comfortable clothes-wise.

Some claim that sleeping naked is uncomfortable, gives breaking-in rapists easier access to your goods [like not having a protection seal on mouthwash], and makes you look sluttier when you bring up your nude sleeping habits during casual conversation. Sleeping naked, for females, can be good for you.

Bras conflict with circulation. Bras keep things up, right? They can't leave your boobs sagging. So they fit snuggly around you. Sometimes too snuggly. I read somewhere awhile back that you shouldn't sleep with a bra on.

Sleeping with panties on is a more difficult matter. If you've got regular cotton underwear--granny or bikini or something similar--then you're good today. If you've got a thong, g-string, or boyshorts, go commando. They're not good for your vaginalness.

Clothes, for me, frustrate me. I twist and turn trying to sleep and in the act of sleeping. It peeves me when my pants roll up to my thighs or anything like that. With my shirts, they have to hug me or else they'll ride up or twist weird or something equally shitty. Even then, with tight clothes, there's that problem. They're tight.

So that's basically why I go all natural to sleep. Except for when I'm on my period.

It's Over?

Sometimes the cheesecake just isn't worth its price.

So this is probably the fourteenth time that I've told myself that I'm going to end it. And I think this time it might just be it.

We haven't been talking as much. Not all that much texting or talking or...anything, really. The last time he really contacted me was after he saw me in my Halloween costume. (See right.) So you can see what really matters, right?

I had an amazing little talk with a random guy that's in my class. He brought to my attention that guys like attention just as much as girls. So when two girls like him, it's great. Just like how I like all the attention from boys as well. Makes sense. See?

He hung out with his friend and his ex. Honestly, he might as well go ahead and commit to a relationship with her if he wants. I don't want to have to compete for him. I don't want to hang out with him if he's into another girl.

At first I understood it being casual and all, but thinking about it after picturing all the times I see him with her, I just get so turned off. Y'know?

So maybe this time it'll be over. We've slowly stopped talking, and he only wants to "hang out" because of me + halloween costume. Yeah. A keeper, yes? Sarcasm.

~*~

On another note, I was serenaded last week. By Matt. It was so funny and cute! I laughed so hard. He sang me "Fireflies" by Owl City. There's a whole story behind it, so it's adorable. Then he wrote on my Facebook wall that I was as pretty as ten thousand fireflies. :]

I'm going to see my school's version of Beauty and the Beast on Friday. I'm excited. :]

xoxo,

Mina

Too Late?

What. The. Fuck.

It's like, when I give in, the offer's closed; and when I pull back, the offer's good.

I admit going after a guy who just wants some is a stupid idea, but I'm lonely. I just want someone to cuddle with but not have to stay committed to. I just want him without the him.

D:

I'm having a mini The Office marathon, and I'm currently on season 4. Woot! It's such an amazing television series. It's kinda sad because I already know how they all end up...but it's exciting to see how they all got there.

On another note, I've painted my fingernails black.

I haven't painted my nails black in a while because so many people were doing it, but I finally gave in. I love my black nails. I already feel less depressed haha.

Now, back to The Office...

Why I Heart You

"In the twilight it's so hard to see what's wrong for me."

-"Solo" by Demi Lovato

I have to admit, I've been blogging about Boy's many bad choices and such. It doesn't seem really fair to me, so I want to explain to you what keeps me going back to him.

1. He tries to see&talk to me. He texts me everyday, times it to where he and I leave the classroom at the same time, tries to make plans to hang out, and goes to the side of the building where I'm at after school everyday to talk to me.

2. He gave me a nickname. Mina is the only nickname that I have. Never has anyone really given me a nickname (not one that stuck, anyway).

3. He compliments me. Haha okay so this sounds a little shallow in my head. Basically, he tells me how cute/sexy/smart/funny/awesome/wonderful I am a lot. He likes me, and I don't know about you guys, but I like when a guy really likes me.

4. He has a nice body. He works out a lot and keeps in shape. I kinda have a thing for arms, and his are so delicious.

5. He's warm. I enjoy cuddling up against him--just being in his arms. I feel comfortable and not alone.

It's so easy to be with him, but it's so wrong. He's so sweet most of the time, but that pressure that I know he'll put me through...I can't handle that.

I can't handle being a sex object either. I need some substance to it. I'm not a doll you can play with, toss to the side, and drag back out whenever you want.

Fake Boyfriend

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I am ashamed.

It had been 3 days and 10 hours since I was first celibate. It has been a little over 2 hours since I have not been celibate, and I am ashamed of myself.

In my defense, I said, "No," five million times before I gave in. I just felt so bad for him and could see his point. I gave in. It felt good while we were going at it, but afterwards, I felt so ashamed of myself.

Am I that easy to give in? Just make me pity you to get what you want?

I'm so weak.

And afterwards, I realized that he doesn't respect my boundaries. I don't think that I can comfortably date a guy who will pressure me into having sex. So I have a fake boyfriend.

Fake Boyfriend otherwise known as Facebook Boyfriend.

Realizing that Boy has no conscience, a sucky girlfriend history, and a negative approval from Poly, I knew I had to find a way to stop this thing with him. He won't take no for an answer. So I told one of my guy friends to find me a fake boyfriend. He volunteers himself with the claim that he'll enjoy the reactions of his friends.

Let's hope all goes as planned THIS time.

I'm seriously incredibly disappointed in myself, guys. I'm trying not to beat myself up, but it's really hard not to. Nothing that I planned even happened except getting cheesecake.

FML,

Mina<3

Celibacy Update

So I just wrote a blog...but while I'm waiting on Boy (from previous posts), I decided to update you guys.

It's been 3 days and 7 hours since The Bet. I get on and off horny flashes, but for the most part, I'm doing alright. This morning I almost broke with masturbation. (Masturbation counts as breaking&losing The Bet.) The sad thing is that I was just bored. Thankfully, I didn't give in!

Yesterday during AP Government & Politics, I couldn't stop fantasizing. It drove me crazy! I thought I was going to die. I didn't though. Tonight is going to be tough though...

Random Note: I feel like a bunch of my sentences are starting with either I or T. Yeah?

I'm hanging out with Boy tonight. We're going to The Cheesecake Factory to get some sinful cheesecake. My plan tonight is to call it all off with him.

Points to Cover:

• Choose The Ex
• Still be friends
• No friends with benefits
• Don't feel comfortable even flirting
• The Ex and Boy can live past this and make things work again

Let's hope all goes as poorly planned. D: Pray for me, guys.

We're also supposed to play Monopoly/Sorry/Some other board game in the back of his car...yeah. Let's hope I can control myself and ignore temptation. I can do this! Besides, it's not clear if Boy is or isn't in a relationship with The Ex again. We don't like to be home-wreckers, readers.

"We are what we repeatedly do." -Aristotle

I hope that I inspired you for at least 3 seconds,

Mina<3

Indirect Peer Pressure

How do you feel when all of your friends watch a specific television show and love it when you've never seen a single episode? For instance, The Office. Almost every single person I know watches The Office. At first, only a few people who I don't talk to very much watched the show. I figured it was any ol' television show and didn't think too much about it. Thursday night, as I'm doing my Anatomy homework while occasionally checking my Facebook out of boredom, I noticed that a BUNCH of people had The Office episode countdowns as their statuses. Like, really?

The boy mentioned in my previous posts had been texting me at that time to watch the show as well. Since I've never actually seen all of the episodes of the past seasons, I figured that I'd be completely clueless and not get like, half of the jokes. So I opted out.

Next day during art class, everyone around me is talking about The Office episode and how Pam and Jim are just SO cute. I was isolated/pushed to the side because I couldn't contribute.

How is it that a mere television show can control your social status?

What do you do when that happens to you? Do you go home and watch every single episode starting from the Pilot? Do you just watch the episode they were discussing? Or do you continue your life, not watching the show?

If you do give in and watch the show, is it because you want to feel included? One of the gals/guys? Or do you watch it because everyone loves it? What motivates you?

Is this indirect peer pressure?

Thoughts, opinions, comments? Leave a comment.

Mina<3

Personalizing Your Room

My room is me.

Throughout my years in art class, I've done a good bit of projects that I really like. I have them hanging on one of my room walls. One summer morning, I had the urge to cover the small area of a wall next to my door with construction paper. I've now got movie stubs, quotes from movies, music, and people, dove chocolate wrapper quotes, pictures, and plane tickets. It's a journey that I've recorded. My small drawer set (2x3) houses all of my accessories, makeup, hair products, and pictures.

In some people's rooms, it isn't too personalized. A computer, clothes everywhere, and a bed. in other people's rooms, you get a still life of the person.

Today I'm redecorating my door (the side facing the hall), and I wanted to give you guys some tips on personalizing every bit of your room.

Tip #1: Go for something totally you. My BFF Theresa covers her door with magazine pages of her favorite celebs. I, not into the whole celeb life, am going to cover my door with inspirational and favorite quotes, Dove chocolate wrappers, and other things that I love.

Tip #2: Do NOT use super glue or any sticky substances that will be incredibly hard to peel off when you're ready to redecorate.

Tip #3: If you live at home with your parents, don't put anything extra vulgar or scandalous...unless you want a lecture.

Tip #4: Have fun while you do it. If it's a pain in the ass, it'll look like a pain in the ass. Wait for motivation.

Being The Other Woman & Celibacy

We've established that going after a guy who's only been single for a week is a bad idea. Don't do it.

If you do make the mistake of doing it (like me), be cautious. It's like baking a cake. The mix/batter just finishes cooking. You don't try to eat it after it's only been out of the oven for a minute. You have to wait until it cools down completely or else get burned. If you attempt to eat a cake that's been in the oven, oh say, eight months?, then realize that it's going to be really hot. You've got to ask yourself: Am I ready to get hurt? Now, knowing that you'll injure your mouth if you decide to consume some cake after only a minute, why on earth would you still go through with it? Just leave the cake and let it be until it's completely cooled down.

Still not taking my advice? Still trying to take a bite out of that cake? Yeah, me too. It's always horrible when you never take your own advice, but at least I know what's stopping you.

This guy is amazing. He gives you attention, always tells you how much he likes you, how pretty/cute/wonderful you are. But wait, now his ex is begging him back? He's confused between you and the ex because he likes you both?

What the frick are you going to do now?

Drop him. Move on. Find a guy that will like you and only you. Unless you love being the other woman/home-wrecking ho/boyfriend stealer. For those of you who don't like being something along the lines of a home-wrecking ho, please, please, PLEASE stop! Tell him that he should go back to his ex. Tell him you don't want him if he's got feelings for someone else too.

This is the end. This needs to be the end.

I'll keep you guys updated on what happens next.

===============

On another note, I have been celibate for 31 hours now. Yesterday one of my guy friends and I decided to make up for our past celibate failures. We are currently both celibate, and whoever breaks first has to do something incredibly shitty that the other chooses. For the first 24 hours, I was doing pretty good, but I think I'm going to go crazy! Hopefully this passes. I'll keep you guys posted on my sanity.

You're newly celibate blogger,

Mina<3

Pilot

Reading blogs, having a lot to say and nowhere to say it have inspired me to create my own blog. This blog is to say whatever I want however I want. Hopefully I'll inspire you, entertain you, connect with you, or make you think. So stick around, and I hope you like what I have to say.

"Then you're no good for me, so glad I kept my receipt."

- Dollhouse by Priscilla Renea

Girls make mistakes in the relationship/sex/romance department. I hope by sharing my mistakes, you'll avoid them and the horrible emotions that come with mistakes.

Mistake #1: Don't start flirting with a guy who just got out of a relationship. Yes, it does count if it's been a week. Yes, it does count even if he's shared with the world how much happier he is without his ex.

Mistake #2: If you guys are hanging out by yourselves and he goes on and on about the good and way more horrible times he's had with his ex, stop flirting with him. Think about it: If a guy is interested in you, why would he talk about his ex? He either has horrible game or still loves his ex.

Mistake #3: If he tells you a story about how he started talking to his ex while he was dating someone else, warning bells should go off in your head. Don't ignore them. The way you act in a relationship generally doesn't change with significant others. If he's talking to a girl while dating another, what's to stop him from doing it again? (Especially if he starts dating her again and continues to try to get with you.)

Mistake #4: Do not, I repeat, do NOT hook up with him. You two are hanging out. Don't bring up your slutty summer adventures. Don't bring up the locations of your slutty adventures. This will get him hard. Then, don't let him read seductively to you. He will start whispering in your ear and possibly even start licking it. If you choose to keep the game going, make sure that he is NOT in a relationship with anyone (especially the ex). If he doesn't give you a direct answer that you decide to take as a "No, I'm not in a relationship with anyone," don't feel uber guilty when you find out afterwards that he IS in fact in a relationship.

Mistake #5: Don't keep supporting this bad relationship. He is a bad guy. He's the kind of guy you hear about in those hate lists girls write. He is the reason why girls say, "Boys suck!" He is the reason for all of this anger. He is the cheating asshole that you need to stop seeing. Find yourself a good guy that respects you. You deserve it. (Unless you're a cheating bitch without a reasonable excuse.)

Thanks for checking out my blog!

Mina<3